Should I Tell My Boss About a Coworker for Review
"And then, how are things going at the office?" I asked my dinner companion, a longtime business veteran who manages a minor team. "Last week, you mentioned some kind of conflict. What happened?"
She told me the story about how two of her employees were having trouble working together and so individually coming into her office to complain most the other person.
"It'southward frustrating," she said. "Because one person will come into my office saying, 'so-and-and then did this!' But when I ask the other person, 'did you do that?' They'll say, 'I never did that!' And vice versa."
She sighed, heavily. "It's condign a he-said-she-said situation. I honestly don't know what to do."
She ordered another martini. I mulled over the story, sipping my Old Fashioned.
"In your fantasy world..." I began. "When this kind of conflict happens, and an employee comes into your part to talk virtually information technology, what would you like them to say?"
She paused, considering. "What I don't want is complaining and blaming. What I do want is a positive attitude. A desire to make things better, not just vent."
"OK," I said. "So, what would that audio like, specifically?"
Several sips later, nosotros came up with the following conversation script:
Hey [Manager's Name],
Thanks for agreeing to meet with me today. I know you've got a lot going on, and I don't want to add together anything more than to your plate, but in that location's something I'd similar to discuss. I'1000 hoping it won't take more than a few minutes. Before I brainstorm, I want you to know that I'one thousand not here to vent or complain. There'south a situation that'southward come upward—that I'g a part of—and I'm here to find a solution, with your assistance. So here'south what's happening:
Whenever [Other Person'south Name] does [depict the affair that'due south causing the conflict], I feel [describe how you feel]. This situation has come upwards several times: [depict a couple of specific incidents]. I respect [Other Person'southward Name] and I dear beingness part of this team, just these feelings are making information technology harder for me to do my work, effectively. And while I tin can't know for sure, I'd have to guess that this situation is affecting [Other Person's Name] every bit well.
I desire to resolve this earlier it turns into a bigger problem, for both of us. I've tried to resolve information technology on my ain past [describe something you've tried], but that didn't have the consequence I was hoping for. I know there's a practiced solution, but I'thou not seeing it clearly, which is why I'm here seeking some help. I'g hoping that you might be willing to offer some guidance, hold a chat with the two of us, or possibly bring in an exterior mediator or disharmonize resolution specialist. Again: I'm not hither to vent or arraign. I'm aware that I'm but equally much a part of this conflict as the other person. I'd really like to notice a solution that makes both of united states of america happy and strengthens the team.
Thanks for listening.
"Something like that?" I asked.
"Yep!" she said. "If someone came into my office and said those words to me, calmly, I'd be seriously impressed. I'd think, 'this is a groovy person to have around. Someone I can trust to remain cool under pressure, and someone I might want to promote to a leadership level, someday.'"
So, there y'all take it: A boss-approved script to apply the next fourth dimension you've got a workplace conflict.
Naturally, you lot may need to conform the script depending on the nature of the conflict, your company'south policies, and your relationship with your boss. But the chief thing to remember is:
You're in that location to detect solutions—not bluster, tattle, or uncork your emotions. Aqueduct your inner peace-maker, and go set things right.
Alexandra Franzen is an author and advice good who helps creative people go clear and confident writers. Her specialty? Helping you notice the correct words to get noticed, go hired and go others excited most your ideas—immediately. Her refreshing tips on productivity, creativity and everyday woes—like inbox-clearing—have been featured on Fast Company, Forbes, The Daily Love, The Huffington Post, and on radio programs from coast to coast. Go free workbooks and scripts to unlock your inner wordsmith at: AlexandraFranzen.com.
More from Alexandra FranzenSource: https://www.themuse.com/advice/how-to-talk-to-your-boss-about-a-coworker-you-hate
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